Boundaries

How to set work boundaries

Technology may have increased our productivity, but it’s also created an ‘always on’ culture where the line between home and work life is becoming increasingly blurred. Time to set things straight…

Achieve a better work-life balance

1. Set small everyday boundaries for yourself and stick to them. 

If you work late every night, pick one day a week you are going to leave on time. Chances are nothing drastic will happen, so you can then gradually build up to leaving on time two or three days every week.

2. Keep a file of daily highlights and achievements.

Acknowledge what you’ve done to help others and pin a list of 10 amazing things about yourself somewhere you can see it every day. This will remind you of your worth and value to the business beyond the hours you put in.

3. Put yourself in your boss’s shoes.

Prepare for what they might say to you if you ask for flexible working. Don’t be passive and complain you are struggling and expect them to solve it, don’t be angry or do it as they are asking you to stay late, yet again. Book a meeting, be specific, have confident body language and highlight the benefits you bring to the company.

Like many women Antoinette Dale Henderson learned the hard way about the impact of allowing work to creep too far into her personal life. “I had a job in PR at a senior level and was on a flight to Chicago with a crippling case of cystitis. I’d recently had my second child and because I was so busy in the days running up to the trip, I literally hadn’t had time to go to the loo.’

By the time she got to the airport she had to find an emergency doctor. ‘I sat there thinking: ‘what the hell am I doing? I have got this all wrong.’ I had been conditioned that doing great work for my client was the most important thing and everything else had gone by the wayside. That was the moment I realised I didn’t want to work like this anymore.”

Today, Antoinette is an executive coach, TedX speaker and author of Power Up: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Unleashing Her Potential. Setting work boundaries, she says, is vital whether you work for a big corporate or are an entrepreneur. ‘For women in particular there is this myth that we are brilliant at multi-tasking. We are, but it takes its toll. A lot of women I work with are risking burnout because they want to give 100% at work and at home. It’s simply not sustainable: we end up in constant fight or flight mode, which becomes detrimental physically and mentally. We eat badly, don’t sleep properly and inevitably that puts pressure on our relationships.’

Karen Mattison, co-founder of Timewise, which helps employers design innovative solutions for flexible working, agrees that setting boundaries at work is crucial for everyone, not just women or parents. ‘If you agree to everything you can end up over-promising and under-delivering. People who reply within a minute to every email are not more effective than people who come back in a timely way with the response their boss or client needs. But, if everyone is used to you responding within minutes, whatever the time, they will come to expect it.’

The first step is to be transparent in your out-of-office email signature, making it clear when you are in the office, when you are able to respond and who should be contacted in your absence. A recent survey showed 63% of people expected a response within the hour, but an email explaining when they would be replied to was deemed to be perfectly adequate.

If your boss has unrealistic expectations of you, prepare for a conversation with them in which you are clear about what is realistic, and how a change of working will be good for the business and the important individual skills you will still bring. Karen advises to beware of conversations focussing too much on why you want to re-set your boundaries when the real issue is how it will work.  If you manage a team, you should also talk to them about your boundaries, chances are they may be desperate for more responsibility or have efficiency ideas they can contribute too.

Many companies are aware of the need to offer staff greater control over their working hours. Check with your HR department what your company’s policy is on flexible or agile working and again prepare a case to make to your boss. Being clear that this does not affect your ambition or commitment is key – be assertive and positive in articulating your worth and unique strengths.

‘It’s always assumed that flexible working is good for the individual and rubbish for the company,’ says Mattison, ‘but it can improve staff retention, mental well-being and offer potential savings for real estate costs and is an attractive benefit to offer when recruiting.’

Julia Leckey is proof that setting boundaries is not career suicide. She set up a branding business with her best friend in a basement, and within eight years they had 68 staff and were working with some of the world’s biggest brands. Then she discovered she had breast cancer. She sold her shares in the business, took a year out and set up a new company with very different ground rules.

“With my first business it was like having a hungry animal to feed, I didn’t have enough time to spend with my husband or my kids,’ she says. ‘At the time I couldn’t see any way out and thought that was how it had to be. There was such little joy in it. I used to set up treats and experiences for the staff but was always too busy to go on them myself.”

For the first three years of her new innovation and customer experience business Honest, she deliberately kept it small and agile. She worked from home on Fridays so she could do school pick up and drop off and setting boundaries with her clients improved her mental wellbeing and ultimately made her a better business woman. Last year she took the leap and went global with her ambitions, keeping her new boundaries firmly in place.

‘I now give myself time to think, plan and be far more strategic about everything, I delegate more and delegate smartly and I am earning more than I was before. I’ve learned it is possible to be successful but with half of the stress and guilt.’